Living In America: It’s In Tents Lately
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on August 27, 2009 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Thursday, August 27th, 2009My righteous indignation is back, and it’s badder than ever.
We were worried about that whole Econopocalypse thing for a while, but not anymore. For starters, Timothy Geithner said in June that the economy’s okay, and Ben Bernanke still says so this month. So why are several of my most intelligent, hardworking friends unemployed? And why are Americans living in tents? In spite of rather shocking numbers on unemployment, homelessness, and poverty assembled by The Centre for Research on Globalization, the popular media in this country continues to do a fantastic job of making things seem fine. Even the global headquarters for weepy liberal extremism otherwise known as the Huffington Post plays down the “Tent City” phenomena, claiming accuracy in reporting because they asked their readers to share stories about about tent cities in their towns across America, forgetting that the only people that actually read Huffington Post are liberal elitist media types living in gated communities, or people that got Rickolled into it. I had misplaced my righteous indignation briefly, but all of this is bringing it back. Especially when you consider the fact that all the legislators in DC battling to ultimately deny us healthcare already have theirs, and WE pay for 75% of it. This all creates an amusing and perhaps comforting paradox: If you’re jobless, homeless, and have no insurance, you can’t call in sick and stay home for a day, and even if you could, you’d never get well, so you could never return to work anyway.
Whatever Happened To The Econopocalypse?
[ 3 Comments ]Posted on March 1, 2009 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Sunday, March 1st, 2009Tips For Surviving The Coming Depression
Whatever happened to that Econopocalypse they were promising us? I’m from the generation who grew up thinking NORAD would mistake a piece of space junk coming over the horizon for a Russian nuclear missile, and we’d all die as a result of accidental “Mutual Assured Destruction”. So in spite of the fact that I’ve since somehow managed to become a disturbingly happy, emoticon-using 
utopian, when you talk about the coming apocalypse, I for one will be getting ready. Which is why I’ve rounded up some tips for you. There are plenty of lists like this one, which suggests ridiculously obvious things like accepting a job below your expectations, growing a garden, or managing your money better. And this one , which sounds like it must’ve been written by the same mortgage jockeys that got us into this mess. But I especially liked this one, which includes tips like “Stockpile Drugs” and “Buy a Gun”, or my personal favorite “Blow your credit cards”. You also might want to pick up some cooking tips from Clara, the sweet 91-year-old grandma that’s being exploited to create the Depression Cooking series on YouTube. Although you better hurry; I don’t see how we’ll have broadband if we’re standing in food lines. And for those motivated enough to keep looking for work, don’t be surprised if the interview process evolves to adapt to the new climate as well. See the clip featured here for some insight. Personally, I figure if I can survive cold war paranoia, eight years of Bush, and a culture that that seems to revolve around reality TV, I can survive this. See you in the dole line!
Where’s That Other Shoe?
[ 3 Comments ]Posted on January 14, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Wednesday, January 14th, 2009With all the recent economic and business news, I’ve been sitting patiently waiting for the other shoe to drop. Personally I’m hoping we land on both feet (I’m pretty sure I’m mangling a metaphor here), and that if we’re in for hard times we rediscover some sense of community and helping our fellow citizens. As [...]
With all the recent economic and business news, I’ve been sitting patiently waiting for the other shoe to drop. Personally I’m hoping we land on both feet (I’m pretty sure I’m mangling a metaphor here), and that if we’re in for hard times we rediscover some sense of community and helping our fellow citizens. As much as I love the possibilities created by our communication technologies – cell phones, web-based social networks, e-mail, twitter, etc. – I feel they sometimes do as much to isolate us as connect us. There’s nothing like a genuine fuel shortage to motivate ride-sharing and conversation. It’s pretty cool that the Obama camp is trying to mobilize a national service day in honor of MLK day, and I hope this kind of thing gets some traction. Bring on that other shoe!
Econopocalypse Tip #1: Living In Your Car
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on October 25, 2008 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Saturday, October 25th, 2008Mobile Homes: They’re not just for Hillbillies any more.
With global economic collapse descending upon us and people already living in L.A.’s version of Hooverville, learning how to not live in the house you never owned anyway might be a good start for your new lifestyle. Jalopnik offers Ten Cars You Can Live In After Your Home Is Repossessed, but the list isn’t very practical, and is a little weak on humor as well. Wikis to the rescue: This How to Live in Your Car Wiki not only covers the basics, but goes into finer details, like how to “safely defecate outdoors and make a poop tube”. Hmm. Too bad PoopTube.com is already taken. This Motive Mag piece also covers a lot of practical points once you’ve made the “mi casa es mi coche” commitment. And The Onion, so often disturbingly prescient with their satire, was way ahead on this one in the 2003 piece Living Out Of Your Car Is A Dying Art, which lambasts those that claim they’ll have a job and a home soon, pointing out that old pros knew how to keep “our chins up and our hopes down”. If you’re REALLY thinking ahead (and have $70,000+) the N55 Walking House is the perfect solution for those annoying floodwaters caused by all that global warming that doesn’t exist.
Crisitunity: Making The Best Of Impending Global Economic Collapse
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on October 7, 2008 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008***
 This man is not “laughing all the way to the bank”. He’s actually on his way to buy a loaf of bread. |
Since the world’s about to end, I started looking around the Internet for what to do about it. I didn’t find much, so I decided to start a list of my own. If you have any ideas to share, feel free to add a comment. Here’s a start: 1.) Pray. It’s just one of those things poor people do, okay? 2.) Re-acquire a taste for your favorite Ramen recipe from college. 3.) Buy a wheelbarrow. In about a year you’ll need it to carry cash for grocery trips. 4.) Think Big. Start conceptualizing the New New Deal, and move to D.C. while prices are low. 5.) Learn Spanish. It’ll make migrant work much more rewarding. 6.) Learn Chinese. It’s always easier having your country repossessed if you speak the new language. 7.) Get used to your boss yelling things like “Get back down in that mine, filthy coal monkey!” 8.) Walk the 50 miles (the distance USED to make sense, dammit) to the retirement home and ask your grandparents what the hell THEY did when there was no cable. [Originally posted September 21, 2008]