10 Insanely Expensive Christmas Gifts For Rich Spoiled Brats
[ 3 Comments ]Posted on November 21, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Sunday, November 21st, 2010Ever wonder where people like Paris Hilton got their overblown sense of entitlement? Their parents bought it at FAO Schwarz and Neiman Marcus when they were five.
  The only Ferrari you’ll ever be able to afford: $2,564 |
As you struggle with the rude and poverty-stricken masses at Wal-Mart, using the new credit card you won’t be able to pay off to buy your kids enough presents that they won’t confuse your life with the one the Cratchits are living in the Disney 3D movie they’re watching
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Merry Christmas! You Okay With That?
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on December 25, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Friday, December 25th, 2009Excessive cultural sensitivity can be a real buzz kill.
We hope that whatever you do on December 25th, you have a great day. We’ve done our best to give you some seasonal cheer by sharing amusing ideas for holiday shopping and odd holiday Flash games to distract you. We hope you enjoy the the daily gift we serve up; we don’t expect anything in return, but if you feel like giving back something, support or sponsors by visiting their sites once in a while. Or even make a donation. Ultimately though, it’s reward enough to be able to ramble on about anything we like and have people continue to come back for more. Personally, if I could have one holiday wish come true, it would be for people to get off their politically correct pedestals, and share a little love and happiness this time of year. I was joking a few weeks ago that we’ve finally killed Santa, but there was an element of genuine sentiment behind what I was saying. In my opinion, what began as a healthy cultural sensitivity back in the 80′s (i.e.: the tendency to say “happy holidays” and avoid getting too specific) has in the long run destroyed the best of a multi-flavored season of celebration. Especially in the northern latitudes, we NEED a season to remind us to be loving and caring and cheerful; the seventeen hours of darkness we experience by late December can be a crushing blow to one’s biological clock, and we need all the help we can get! I personally feel that by elaborately dissecting how various holidays evolved to be what they are at this point in history, we destroyed a powerful positive spirit in order to eliminate a problem that wasn’t that big in the first place. The proverbial baby and bathwater scenario. I hope we can get better at respecting other people’s cultural traditions by respecting all of them, and by feeling comfortable saying Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Diwali, or whatever, whether acknowledging our own celebration or trying to acknowledge those of others. This “Happy Holidays” crap is for the birds. So Merry Christmas!
Reindeer Games Rudolph Wouldn’t WANT To Join In
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on December 22, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009For some, the holidays can be a bitter time. Especially for Flash game developers, I guess. Help Rudolph get revenge, and see how many employees Santa can slay with this weeks holiday-themed games of violence and vengeance. And what is it with game developers and spelling, anyway?
 Finally, a reindeer game even Rudolph can get behind. Or in this case, in front of. |
Sadly, for some people the holiday season is a time of frustration, anxiety and resentment. And apparently, this is especially true for Flash game developers, who probably all grew up as misunderstood misanthropes who never got what they wanted at Christmas because their parents didn’t understand their genius. Well, they’re silently eeking out their revenge; we went looking for fun and happy holiday-themed games to keep you amused this week, but were surprised by how many were based instead on violence and vengeance. We could understand Rudolphs Kick n’ Fly, in which Rudolph kicks elves into the air (much like Kitty Cannon), because no one really gets hurt, and Rudolph has every right to be upset after the abuse he received as a child. But Rudolph’s Revenge is downright ruthless, with a scrappy, gun-toting Rudolph that looks like he’s been working at the North Pole meth lab for too long. And why does Santa need a gun? The truth is, both Serious Santa and Santa’s Vegneance tease your inner psycho with sinister Santas who look like they’re out for blood in intense first person shooters, and then the games actually serve up silly little pixelated Santas that only move in two dimensions. Jingle Ballistics is doubly misleading; there are no bullets, and not much jingle, just a choice of a snowman, an elf, or a sullen Santa for one-on-one boxing matches. In the continued mind-numbing search (I say mind-numbing because I for one really am not a gamer) for something a little chippier to keep you amused, we thought maybe we’d find a clever or cute snowball game like Snowcraft, and ran across a little journey into psychosis misleadingly called Snowball Holiday Flash Game. It took a minute to realize that the the weird things hanging in the viewframe weren’t curtains, but an anime girl’s hair, and the little penises that kept popping up Read the rest of this entry »
High Tech Christmas Gifts I Wish I’d Received As A Kid
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on December 19, 2009 by admin in Technology
Saturday, December 19th, 2009With some random musings on why today’s kids shoot each other, why marshmallows are the new pink, and the fat old bastards who blocked my view at the hobby shop when I was little.
  Marshmallow is the new black. |
If your dad was anything like my dad, he walked 17 miles to work every day in 6 feet of snow, barefoot, with a headwind both ways, and ate boot broth soup for lunch, so he could make 13 cents a week. He also might look at you funny when you used a calculator to do some multiplication and say “Puh! We didn’t have them things in MY day“, and prove it by asking for some big numbers and then piss you off by easily multiplying pairs of two-digit numbers in his head. My dad could do pairs of three-digit numbers, but would have to stare off into space for a second mouthing and moving his finger in the air. My generation – on the whole – couldn’t do this, but seems to me to be a little more in possession of average intelligence across the board. But when I meet today’s kids, I don’t meet many “average” kids, they all seem to be vidiot savants who can’t spell but can ace you on any video game known to man or fix your wireless network, or Einsteinian freaks who get Montessori training, business and accounting tutoring, and therapy twice a week. I personally think this can all be explained by the toys we had or have. And I have to add that if you ever want to take control of my mind, set me loose in a toy store for about an hour, and after the spontaneous hypnotic age regression that occurs, I will be a pliable drooling zombie drone that will do anything you say. The same thing happens when I browse the doodads on Amazon
High-Tech Gadgets Put New Spin On Secret Santa Concept
[ Add A Comment ]Posted on December 12, 2009 by admin in Technology
Saturday, December 12th, 2009Thanks to these affordable high-tech surveillance gadgets, your workplace Secret Santa Stalker sees you when you’re sleeping, and knows when you’re awake.
You don’t know it, but this holiday season there’s a special someone who has their eye on you. Of course you don’t know it, because they’re keeping that eye on you with an Audio-Activated Hidden Camera by BrickHouse Security®
