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Five Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas

[ Comments Off ]Posted on October 24, 2010 by admin in Holidays

Sunday, October 24th, 2010

As an adult, have you ever re-experienced that queasy feeling from childhood when your mom martyrously made a last minute Halloween costume with her “best sheet”? We’re here to help.


This is a nice option. I mean, who
doesn’t have a dead fish and a pipe
wrench laying around the house?

With the amount of time that seems to have been put into compiling lists of last minute Halloween costumes, it’s not surprising that they’re in such demand. It’s sad though; if the people that put together the lists had just gotten busy making their costume, this whole cycle could have been averted. If you’ve ever been in a last minute panic trying to create a Halloween costume, you may be familiar with that sick childish feeling of futility, the feeling you might have gotten as a kid when your mom forgot to plan ahead, and at the last minute is acting all martyrous while cutting holes in a sheet thinking she’s doing you a favor, when all your friends are dressed up in slick Darth Vader and Hello Kitty costumes. This last-minute thing has had both good and bad outcomes for me. One year everyone loved my “evil priest ” outfit, which only required putting a white square on the collar of the black shirt I always wear anyway. Somehow the “evil” part just came naturally. Another year, my date and I didn’t dress up at all, and for reasons I still don’t understand, everybody kept guessing that we were Legolas and Arwen from “Lord of the Rings”. I mean, it’s not like I was wearing a Legolas wig or anything. In any case, we’re here to help ease your last minute anxiety. We already shared the 15 Most Offensive Halloween Costumes we could find, but it may be too late for those. Halloween is only a week away as I type this, and with rush shipping that would be one pricey little penis costume. So what are your options? Well, you could always stick a paper bag over your head and go as The Unknown Comic, but for people under forty, he’s probably more unknown than ever. So lets explore the internets. There are hundreds of useless lists like this one on CollegeHumor.com which are just searchspam or really bad attempts at humor. Example: they suggest “Walk Signal” as a costume and then tell you to wear Christmas lights and stay in a “walk” position all night. Or this list from Halloween.com, which is apparently for people who don’t like to do a lot of work, and don’t mind doing a lot of explaining. It starts off with “Carry a quarter and a hammer. What are you? A Quarter-pounder!” *rimshot*. For some actually useful ideas, this Fox News piece from a few years ago had a few, including a mummy outfit, which only calls for gauze. LOTS of gauze. Or Clark Kent: just dress up like the dork you already are, but wear a Superman t-shirt underneath. And there’s a huge user-submitted list of Fast and Simple Last-Minute Costumes (reasonably useful, but annoyingly spread over several pages) on About.com. Things like the Biker Costume, submitted by “kuntrygrl94″, whom I can only guess was just listing what she was wearing at the time. Got any good ideas yourself? Feel free to share. Below are a few “Buy it on Amazon” vs “Do it Yourself” ideas. Happy haunting! Read the rest of this entry »

15 Most Offensive Halloween Costumes For 2010

[ 1 Comment ]Posted on October 2, 2010 by admin in Holidays

Saturday, October 2nd, 2010

Stuck for a costume idea this year? Let Amazon help with a bunch of tasteless costumes mostly based on sexual organs. Maybe do a “His & Hers” thing. But if you’re already a dickhead, this list won’t help much.


Admittedly, in some parts of America
this one wouldn’t be offensive, it would
be a typical way to spend Saturday night.

I like to think of Halloween as a fairly light-hearted affair; a time to either just get silly, or for the more repressed amongst us, to live out our secret selves. The latter probably being a good explanation for why so many supposedly straight men seem to get so enthused about dressing up in drag. My tradition tends to be to think up all sorts of great costumes well ahead of time, forget to create them, and then improvise at the last minute. One year this resulted in my putting on a black turtleneck, black pants, and attaching socks and underwear all over to go as “Static Cling”. If you’re ever in a last minute jam, remember – you can always grab some ping pong balls, shave your head, and go as Homer Simpson. But unfortunately, in these tense, post-politically correct times, some people have to take everything seriously. Last year’s controversy about this offensive “illegal alien” costume remains a pertinent issue this year, thanks to the alarmist and paranoid Texas Terror Baby crowd. I personally don’t find that costume all that offensive; certainly lowbrow and in poor taste, but hardly something to get up in arms about like the people making comments in the product reviews . I was fairly confident that we could find something much more offensive, and the internet didn’t disappoint. Below is our roundup of the 15 most offensive costumes of 2010. Feel free to share any of your own. Read the rest of this entry »

Facebook Politics – I Only Like You So I Can Hate You

[ 2 Comments ]Posted on August 12, 2010 by admin in Politics

Thursday, August 12th, 2010

Why I quit voting and started “Liking”. And why I support the Palin/Quayle campaign of 2012.

Palin Quayle 2012I’ve discovered a new approach to political action that seems to confuse my friends, but which I’m confident will afford me endless hours of glee, and may lead to me never getting credit for creating the soon-to-be-popular phrase “I Only Like You So I Can Hate You”. I’ve joked a number of times recently that I’m drifting back toward the apolitical stance of my twenties, but somewhere inside, I knew that I was too addicted to America’s political shenanigans to be satisfied with simple satirical observation. So I’m doing the next best thing to voting: “LIKING”. One ironic side effect of the popularity of Facebook and their omnipresent “Like” button is that if, for instance, you find yourself for some ungodly reason looking at Sarah Palin’s Facebook page, you’ll notice you can’t make a comment on any of her surreal ramblings unless you “Like” her. So today, I did. Prompting a concerned friend to immediately comment with the astute observation that – and I quote – “in spite of appearances Ian, she’s not satire“. A short while later, I coincidentally saw Ben Quayle’s campaign video (also below) that’s been getting so much press today, and immediately “liked” him too, so I could misspell his name as I asked in the comments of his campaign page what a “Tax Cartel” was. Then, as I watched the clip again to make sure it wasn’t actually a Saturday Night Live clip like this one or some viral campaign, it hit me. The solution to all of America’s political woes. The Palin/Quayle campaign of 2012. My theory being that if they don’t win, they’ll at least siphon off enough “real” republican votes to give Obama another four years to figure out what the hell he’s doing before Newt Gingrich or somebody really scary runs. And if they do win, that’s a win for America too. As the nutjob teabagging Washington outsiders that they are, it’ll take them four years to even begin to figure out how to actually get anything done, and by then the global economic collapse caused by the Reagan/Bush/Clinton/Bush/Obama corporatocracy will have fully played out, and THEY’LL get the blame. Then we can all make a fresh start in 2016. So get on board the “I Only Like You So I Can Hate You” movement and help run the hugest campaign of subterfuge and disinformation in the history of politics. Read the rest of this entry »

5 Things The Oscars Have In Common With Presidential Elections

[ Comments Off ]Posted on March 7, 2010 by admin in Popular Media

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Race, gender, the Iraq war, and arrogant ex-husbands? The 2010 Oscars are feeling a lot like the 2008 election. Oh. And gay men throw the best parties.

I usually don’t pay much attention to the Academy Awards, but this year, an acquaintance of mine said “If Avatar wins Best Pic I will kick myself in the face. If I am unable to do so, I will train in leg flexibility until I am able to do so“. For that reason alone, I’m a little more interested than usual in the outcome this year, and as a result I couldn’t help noticing that this year’s Oscars have a few odd things in common with the 2008 elections.

1.) People of color will play a significant role in the outcome.

Avatar has aroused a lot of discussion about race and class around the world, and some people will be VERY upset if this non-white nominee wins. I don’t think Obama’s nomination caused suicidal tendencies though.

2.) A powerful woman may win, but an arrogant man in her past may impact the outcome.

Kathryn Bigelow probably deserves to win for Hurt Locker, but her arrogant ex-husband could easily muck things up for her. Read the rest of this entry »

Normal People vs. The People vs. George Lucas

[ Comments Off ]Posted on February 7, 2010 by admin in Popular Media

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

Because we all know what happens when George Lucas gets his hands on a Storm Trooper. Or at least you South Park viewers do.


The 2009 Trailer. See The 2010 Trailer Below.

I have to admit that as much as I love film (and I DO love film, with a passion), there’s still a level of film fetishism that I don’t really grasp. Sure, I’ve watched Blade Runner over 200 times, but who in their right mind hasn’t? No, I have to draw the line at things like dressing up as a character from a film. At least when it’s not Halloween. Which is why I’ll never understand the legions of Star Wars Storm Troopers that convene on a regular basis, in full battle regalia, and at their own considerable expense. Or the people who maintain Wookieepedia. Or people that create web sites that tell you the best times to pee during a film. At the same time, I have to admire the dedication this kind of thing requires, especially in the case of the people behind a project like The People vs. George Lucas, the new documentary about the poor souls whose lives were destroyed by the numerous changes Lucas made to the original Star Wars Trilogy on re-release. The producers of the film put it this way: “The People vs. George Lucas explores the titanic struggle between a Godlike filmmaker and his legions of fans over the most popular franchise in movie history. At its core, PvsG is the examination of a high-profile, dysfunctional love story. George created this humongous and intricate sandbox for us to play in; but is he the sole owner of it, or does it now belong to the ages? And what happens to your role as a creator when your audience claims it owns your art? We basically looked at the conflicted dynamic between George and his fans from a cultural perspective, and asked ourselves those questions.” Although I’ve yet to see the film, I think a simpler assessment may be in order. Maybe it’s just a bunch of web-enabled misanthropic fanboys venting the rage that used to be confined to their smelly bedrooms, but which – thanks to the power of crowdsourcing – must now be endured by the entire world. I jest of course; it promises to be an amusing film, and makes its debut at SXSW 2010 the week of March 12. See the teasers above left and below. Read the rest of this entry »

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