“77.3% of all statistics mentioned in casual conversation are inaccurate”
-Ian Gray, Budding Motivational Speaker

“I did my part in the War On Drugs, but they just kept coming and coming. I finally surrendered and quit doing them”
-Ian Gray

“DEMOCRACY is just an acronym for ‘Deliberate Entitled Manipulation Of Citizens’ Right to Accurately Counted Yearnings”
-Ian Gray - November 19, 2009

“The problem with trying to meet people to date in a town like Ann Arbor is that everybody’s either pushing a stroller or just got out of one”
-Ian Gray

“PowerPoint. Helping people who don’t know what they’re doing prove it since 1984″
-Ian Gray - February 2, 2010

“We leave this world pretty much the same way we arrived. In diapers and drooling.”
-Ian Gray