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How Am I Driving?

Topics: Editorial & Opinion | 2 CommentsBy admin | April 2, 2011

While I take a week off, let me know what you think. And just for fun, you can even CALL, at (530) 763-3477. That’s (530) 763-DISS.


Yup. That’s a real phone number.

The motorcycle helmet was starting to feel heavy on my head as the waist-high weeds gave way to the bumper of the car, and the random locust buzzed through the non-existent windshield. “NOW?!?” I shouted, with sweat dripping into my eyes. I glanced over quickly as my brother grinned and yelled “GO FOR IT!”, and with the accelerator jammed to the floor, I flipped the wheel fast and hard to the left, sending the battered Hillman sedan flipping sideways. As a ten year old, few things are more exhilarating than feeling yourself catapulted up in an arc that soon has you upside-down, then right side up, then hanging from your shoulder harness sideways wondering if the sputtering engine is going to blow up before you figure out how to get out of the car. This is part of how I learned how to drive, and explains a little bit about my approach to life. I never did bother to get a drivers license. Even some of my close friends assume I lost it years ago in a drug-induced tragedy involving dozens of children and senior citizens or something. The fact is, I just think cars are stupid, so I don’t have one. I tend to apply this eager and ignorant approach to a lot of things. You learn a lot that way. And that’s part of the approach I’ve applied to this site for a couple of years. I’m enough of a nerd to know how to generate site traffic so that I can generate ad revenue – a business model that has wrecked the web, in my opinion – but almost three years ago, I thought I’d try something different. I thought I’d just try writing actual content, and see if it slowly drew an audience. The result? Well, it has sort of drawn an audience, but only about 10,000 unique visitors a month. If you know how these numbers work, you know no-one’s getting rich here. So I’m taking a few days off to ponder the direction of the site. I’m trying to finish a book, develop another venture (not much to look at right now at that last link) as well as working on a couple of other projects related to personal development or novelty ideas like this or this. So now’s your chance to tell me how I’m driving. I don’t usually LIKE comments, it just means I have to moderate them, and fortunately the only people that have commented much over the last few years were shills like these or Glenn Beck viewers like these or these who think they’re e-mailing Glenn Beck. So let us know what you think. If you’re new to the site, you can always check out our Best of 2010 or 2009 to get a feel. We’re trying to make this easy for you; you can contact us here, or leave a comment, or for maximum amusement, CALL US at (530) 763-3477. That’s (530) 763-DISS, by the way, and that’s a real number. If we get any juicy messages, we’ll post the audio files when we come back in a week. Oh, and to really show your love, you can always donate via PayPal. We’re not profitable, but we’re not non-profit either, so don’t get excited about your tax break.

This is a real phone number, where you can leave a message, comforted by the knowledge that your remarks may be republished or re-purposed in whole or in part both on and off the web. Most likely as an audio file here on Dissociated Press. This is also a handy way for us to test Google Voice, which we will write about in an upcoming piece.


Don’t feel like calling? Put your money where your mouth would have been.

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Dojo Nick on 04.02.11 9:10 pm

    Jeepers, a week without any new Dissociated Press columns? I will have to start working on work, or something equally distasteful. How many extra columns can I get if I buy ya a coffee and cookie on Wednesday?

  2. Posted by Dissociated Press Says Au Revoir | dissociatedpress.com on 04.10.11 8:57 pm

    [...] How Am I Driving? | [...]