Yes little Billy, we’re all going to die. Eventually. Get used to it!

On top of the recent swine flu panic and the panic in the skies of New York, the hubbub about the FEMA produced children’s coloring book (get the whole thing here as a PDF, 3.5MB) got me thinking again about what a bunch of sissy crybabies Americans have become. I keep seeing images in my head of thousands of surgical mask-clad citizens running to and fro like Godzilla movie extras every time a plane flies too low over their city. When half the world has to deal with bombs (often American ones) falling on their houses, starvation and poverty every day, where do we get off whimpering about things like the flu and government-produced children’s coloring books? I mean, take a look at what Chinese kids get to color, and I don’t recall reading about any Columbine-like incidents in China lately. Chill out, America, everything will be fine. On that note, let me help you. Why not kick back with the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book or the O.J. Simpson Coloring & Activity Book? Or my fave, The Executive Coloring Book,  which includes pages like “This is my suit. Color it gray or I will lose my job“. And remember, it’s okay to color outside the lines if you feel like it.